On the subject of furniture

Dear Jak,

You know that desk you moved out of Claire’s room last weekend and left in the hallway, where it still remains despite my earlier strong suggestion that you remove it to the living room?

It is a dark-colored desk in a dark hall, directly outside the office door. During this particular period of early-morning insomnia I have so far unwittingly attempted to occupy the same physical space as the desk a total of three times. I expect fully one third of the surface area of my lower body will soon be sporting a variety of interesting colors ranging from yellow to purple. The blood loss has so far been manageable, but I note forlornly the loss of several smaller toenails.

Granted, I am a hopeless clutz and also egregiously slow to learn from experience. Nevertheless, I would like to point out that my continued ability to walk is in your own best interest — I know you’d hate to be stuck with all the grocery shopping — and plead once again that you remove this obstacle before I become permanently impaired.

All my love,


  1. 22 May 2009 at 5:50 am

    Nothing like a little public shaming to spur action! I hope my wife does not discover this technique :)

  2. 22 May 2009 at 6:02 am

    This is hilarious. I’m very happy that you’re blogging again.

  3. 23 May 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Lady K, It nice to see your pen flowing again.

  4. 27 May 2009 at 10:24 am

    It did work, although my timing sucked. Jak was having a particularly lousy morning (child tantrums, etc) and didn’t find this nearly as amusing as I’d hoped. :/

  5. 27 May 2009 at 8:57 am


    (Did it work? Is the desk gone?)

  6. 27 May 2009 at 11:17 am

    Oh, poor Jak.

    (I will have to apply your strategy to my bathroom, kitchen floor, deck, and all the other projects he has started but never finished. :)

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